Peak Oil Is A Myth
OIL BAG - WEEK 3
IS OIL PEAKING?
This week's emailer of the week thinks he's cracking wise... He wonders if I still got it? I'll have you know that my libido is nowhere near its peak, production or otherwise. Much like Hef, as a young stud, I'm still working towards my production and "sexual peak".
Listen, Jim, John... whatever your name is... Peak Oil... IT'S JUST A THEORY! perpetrated by psycho dweebs. They have no way of knowing how much oil is left or whether we can produce anymore or if I've reached my "peak"... They couldn't find their asses if you bent them over and gave them a map.
Realistically, why would all of these oil companies continue to pump and produce 84 million barrels of oil per day if oil production has peaked and is in decline? Wouldn't they be shooting themselves in the foot, biting the hand that feeds them, looking a gift horse in the mouth, etc. by continuing this behavior?
I don't know about you, but I don't listen to pocket-protector wearing nerds, a.k.a. "scientists". These "scientists", supposedly using sound science and making all kids of sensationalistic claims because they are trying to make a name for themselves - or a left leaning media that has an agenda. (Check out some of these "claims" here, or this candy-ass wannabee James Bond, Nicholas Stern)
Personally, I prefer to check out sites like this one. Even if Peak Oil Theory was a reality, as I like to say, "If you keep looking to the future, you'll miss the pleasures of the present. Worry about the future... tomorrow. Live in the now, dog."
Woah! All this talk about peaks and curves has gotten me thinking. Listen, I am all about peaks, valleys, and curves... So much so, that I am going to take you through my own personal explanation of each.
2014? C'mon. I thought it was the Swiss that had the whole time thing figured out. Maybe these Germans should ask their southwest neighbors for a watch. If I'm looking for Deutsche curves though, I much prefer Ms. Diane Kruger - Grrrrrr! We should be tracking the progress of her curves... Up and down a runway, the red carpet, or a movie screen (I would have kidnapped Helen of Troy as well).
Or my mistress, the Porsche 911. Mouth watering luscious design curves, and its hugging of curves is as smooth as silk.
Let's see, there's Sean Connery, Paul Newman, George Clooney, and me. What do these guys have in common with each other and me? First of all... They are devastatingly good looking, their appeal and influence grew with time. AND, the didn't peak until WAY late - and George is comfortably in his prime (Although I'm closer to Jake Gyllenhaal in terms of age and "prowess" - VERY LUCKY in love, just ask Ms. Biel above).
One question -- Who trusts the American government or it's work? Last I heard, "good enough" for government work WAS NOT a compliment... Government work? That's like Central Intelligence Agency - It's a contradiction in terms. But, while we're on the subject of "geolotical surveys", maybe they should stick to rocks and study this formation! I got your peak right here... (see right)
Believe me. All the rumors of my plateauing and demise are greatly exaggerated and overblown. The things you can't evade, hide from, or run away from: Death, taxes, herpes and OIL!
As I clearly state on my MySpace page, "I rule the world!"
If you want some detail on Oil's supposed peaking, you can read about the different "theories" here.
The Oil Bag is written by Me, The Oil Blob Have a stupid question? email it to oilblob@endoil.org; Or, fill out my contact form.
IS OIL PEAKING?
This week's emailer of the week thinks he's cracking wise... He wonders if I still got it? I'll have you know that my libido is nowhere near its peak, production or otherwise. Much like Hef, as a young stud, I'm still working towards my production and "sexual peak".
Dear Blob, What do you think of Peak Oil Theory? Are you past your prime? Reached your peak?
- John S.,
Amherst, MA
| Typical Peak Oil Scientist |
 |
Realistically, why would all of these oil companies continue to pump and produce 84 million barrels of oil per day if oil production has peaked and is in decline? Wouldn't they be shooting themselves in the foot, biting the hand that feeds them, looking a gift horse in the mouth, etc. by continuing this behavior?
I don't know about you, but I don't listen to pocket-protector wearing nerds, a.k.a. "scientists". These "scientists", supposedly using sound science and making all kids of sensationalistic claims because they are trying to make a name for themselves - or a left leaning media that has an agenda. (Check out some of these "claims" here, or this candy-ass wannabee James Bond, Nicholas Stern)
Personally, I prefer to check out sites like this one. Even if Peak Oil Theory was a reality, as I like to say, "If you keep looking to the future, you'll miss the pleasures of the present. Worry about the future... tomorrow. Live in the now, dog."
Woah! All this talk about peaks and curves has gotten me thinking. Listen, I am all about peaks, valleys, and curves... So much so, that I am going to take you through my own personal explanation of each.
1. ASPO Curve
First of all, it should be renamed ASSpo - of which Jessica Biel knows all about. Unlike the American Society's prediction of oil production reaching its peak in 2010, those cheeks will definitely be around for a while.2. Deutsche Bank Curve
  |
Or my mistress, the Porsche 911. Mouth watering luscious design curves, and its hugging of curves is as smooth as silk.
3. IEA Curve
The International Energy Agency predicts the beginning of my downfall in 2030. Baby, I'm like fine wine... I get better with age.Let's see, there's Sean Connery, Paul Newman, George Clooney, and me. What do these guys have in common with each other and me? First of all... They are devastatingly good looking, their appeal and influence grew with time. AND, the didn't peak until WAY late - and George is comfortably in his prime (Although I'm closer to Jake Gyllenhaal in terms of age and "prowess" - VERY LUCKY in love, just ask Ms. Biel above).
4. U.S. Geological Survey Curve
One question -- Who trusts the American government or it's work? Last I heard, "good enough" for government work WAS NOT a compliment... Government work? That's like Central Intelligence Agency - It's a contradiction in terms. But, while we're on the subject of "geolotical surveys", maybe they should stick to rocks and study this formation! I got your peak right here... (see right)Believe me. All the rumors of my plateauing and demise are greatly exaggerated and overblown. The things you can't evade, hide from, or run away from: Death, taxes, herpes and OIL!
As I clearly state on my MySpace page, "I rule the world!"
If you want some detail on Oil's supposed peaking, you can read about the different "theories" here.
The Oil Bag is written by Me, The Oil Blob Have a stupid question? email it to oilblob@endoil.org; Or, fill out my contact form.
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